Missing in Action

Since I have an incredible amount of free time, one of my new hobbies is experimenting. No, not with chemicals and tubes like Bill Nye the Science Guy, but trying out new beauty tips and tools to keep Mr. Navy a happy and interested sailor.

My latest problem has been the persistent bikini line bumps that frequent the area quite often, making for a self-conscious bathing suit experience. Females reading this will understand the heartache and pain we feel when trying to either disguise these bumps or shave over them. I have refused to get a bikini/Brazilian wax after watching an episode of "The View" where poor Sherrie was in tears after her traumatizing waxing experience. No thank you. Instead, I turn to Amazon.com.

I researched many different products and read hundreds of consumer reviews. I compared and contrasted ingredients and prices, and finally settled on a product. MiN Solution 2 was the one! As I entered in my credit card information and clicked "order", I could almost feel the bumps disappearing and my skin becoming incredibly smooth. When I received my confirmation email that it had been shipped, I swear I could hear Mr. Navy's voice in my head saying "Great job babe, this experiment has made you super sexy and desirable." That email came on August 3, 2009. Expected to arrive on August 6--just three days till perfection, I recited over and over like a mantra.

Days turned into weeks, and while I kept very busy, I kept wondering where my MiN Solution 2 could be. Finally, after 12 days had gone by since the expected delivery, I decided to track this S.O.B. and find out where it was hiding. Delivered, it said. Whaaaa??? My mouth hung opened as I read it. Delivered where? I contacted Amazon right away, and after a few angry emails, they told me they are "looking into the problem."

Did it get lost somewhere? Did someone steal the box from outside my door? Do they know I have nothing better to do with my time than experiment with beauty products I find on amazon?!

Until I get to the bottom of this, my bumps remain, and the beauty experiments continue. My next? Dying my hair brown. Stay tuned.