Burn Baby Burn

This happened last week, but I still think it’s a MUST to share. In my quest to keep life interesting, I decided to light myself on fire.

I have a recipe for peanut sauce (yummmm) and I bought these Japanese Udon noodles that I’m desperately trying to get rid of, because they are way too thick for me and I’m shortly going to go on a bread fast. Mr. Navy was at work until midnight, so I decided to cook up a yummy dinner for little ol’ me.

I first took a shower so that I could be completely clean and smelling fresh for my peanut sauce. My hair was wet and styled up in my lovely towel turban, and I put on my comfy white robe. The sleeves of this robe are big and droopy, adding to the comfort and spaciousness of the terracotta material.

Then, I got out my sauce pot, mixed some ingredients, and turned up the heat on the stove. The events that follow will be forever be held against me by Mr. Navy.

Since the sleeves of the robe were droopy, and since I was in a daze and not paying much attention, the right sleeve quietly dropped into the flames of the stove and caught on fire. I didn’t notice until I saw the flame in my sleeve out of the corner of my eye. I panicked, and due to reflexes shot my right arm up towards my neck. Because of this, the flame then transferred to the back of my robe. Terrified and waiting for the flames to hit my skin, I flung off the robe and stomped on it, and put out the fire stark naked right in front of my open door (my apologies to all offended neighbors). I turned on all the fans in the house and sprayed some Febreeze in an effort to hopefully dull out the smell of burnt fabric. After about 10 minutes, the smell hadn’t dissipated—in fact, it smelled a bit too close to home. I wondered if the flames had hit my hair—yes, that’s what the smell was. Not burnt fabric, but burnt hair. My long hair had been up in a bun at the top of my head, so I reached to the underneath hairs right above my neck. To my horror, my thought became my reality, and the hair started coming out into my hands as I pulled it away from my head. I kept pulling away ashes and long blond hairs, piece by piece. It’s only hair, I told myself over and over.

The damage was minimal but the fear instilled inside of me will last forever. I burnt off the under layer of my hair, so the only huge thing lost was some dignity. Small price to pay, I think.

Lessons learned? I can take my pick…Never cook in a robe. Roll up my sleeves. Keep the heat at medium. Wear a bag over my head. Buy my peanut sauce from now on.