So, men are from Mars and women are from Venus, right? Venus must be the prettier, smarter, cleaner planet.
This morning, I'm wondering why the differences between males and females seem to be so vast at times, like a deep cavern with a hidden bottom. Why were we made so different? I feel as though we aren't in fact from different planets, but different galaxies all together.
Is there a way to bridge the gap? I fear that as each day progresses, the vast differences are either going to get smaller or larger causing either peace or more confusion. There are times when I feel like Mr. Navy looks at me like I have flames coming out of my rear or something (which could be true if I was cooking peanut sauce earlier). There are times when he really just doesn't understand me. Am I that baffling? There are times when I really just don't understand him. Is he that baffling? Or are we just too lazy to work harder at trying to speak either others languages?
I'd be open for some suggestions, maybe even a Martian translator to try and help me understand the language. I keep telling myself over and over, 'he has to find this important too, right? Right?' I keep walking further and further out on that limb as I ask that question, to find that I'm standing there alone (and probably naked with everyone staring).
They say that Martians are simple creatures, that they don't think and analyze as extensively as us beautiful creatures from Venus. Oh. Ok. Glad that's solved. They're simple. However, life is not simple. Women are not simple. Life is too up and down, sad and happy, scary and safe all at the same time to be simple. There's no room for simplicity. Should we send a Venetian tutor over there full time? Should they have to pass a test? I'm open to all options here, as long as they all lead to a little bit more understanding.
I completely agree with you on that sometimes I feel like I am miles away when my beloved is looking right at me. For instance, I took on the challenge of cooking Persian food for my fiance on his favorite dish after eating it only once and not knowing the recipe. He ate it fine and thanked me for cooking it. I have to admit I was hoping for a little more lovin' on his part as I cooked something that was totally out of my comfort zone. So I thought, no big deal. Then it happened again! He has asked that we do not eat much carbs at dinner time(he said that he read somewhere that you should not eat carbs after 2:00 PM) so I decided to get creative with salads and home made salad dressing. I guess what I am trying to say here is that I put in the effort but the same effort of gratitude was not given and that is why we are from Venus and they are from Mars.
ReplyDeleteWe talked about it and then after plenty assertive "I(s)" I made it clear to him that I felt he was taking me for granted. From this point on, he has made it clear to me that the meals I present at meal time I know that he fully appreciates it. That's all I want at the end of the day: to feel appreciated.
I hear you -- I often times do not feel appreciated by Mr. Navy, and when I bring it up he gets mad because he feels he's always showing me/telling me he appreciates me. Do I just not understand? Am I hard of hearing? Because there are plenty of times when I swear there's no appreciation, but maybe I'm just blind and deaf and Venetian.
ReplyDeleteIt's so insightful to distinguish that a breakdown in communication is at the heart of hurt feelings. unfulfilled expectation comes into play but I think it's a function of the missing "bridge" between two people speaking two different languages. I remember saying once to a past love, "you don't trust me!" and she said, "are you out of your mind??? don't we make love with the lights on?"
ReplyDeleteI didn't get it till later but her way of showing that she trusted me fully was allowing me to see all her perceived imperfections trusting that I would still find her beautiful. to her, that was the ultimate token of trust.
a thought on something, if I may...
I would assert that "feeling appreciated" is a choice we make, despite the circumstances. be appreciated because you say you are.