I'm a Civilian

I work for the government. I work for the Navy. I deal with Commanders, Chiefs, Officers, and other ranks that my civilian self doesn't recognize. Do I care?

No.

I may work for the military, but I'm not military. I'm not a fan of being affiliated with it, and I'm sure as hell not going to start talking like one. I tell time like a civilian -- 2100? No, it's 9 pm, fool; I say my letters like a civilian -- it's A, B, C, not Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, fool; I say actual words like a civilian -- it's called Navy Family Assessment System, not NFAAS, fool.

I walk like a civilian. I talk like a civilian. I don't stop my car or freeze and salute when TAPS starts playing. I look at an Enlisted man just the same way that I look at a Captain. I don't care how long you've been in the military, or how many colorful pins you have on your ugly brown shirt. I'm a civilian...and none of that silly stuff matters in my world. If you disrespect me, you can bet I'll do it right back.

Does this mentality get me in trouble at work? You bet. I get phone calls from random military officials telling me gibberish phrases like "you jumped the chain of command" and "sorry I blew off our meeting, I had a SNAFU."

Whaaaa? It sounds like the grown-ups in Charlie Brown shows.

I'm a civilian.