I'm a Civilian

I work for the government. I work for the Navy. I deal with Commanders, Chiefs, Officers, and other ranks that my civilian self doesn't recognize. Do I care?

No.

I may work for the military, but I'm not military. I'm not a fan of being affiliated with it, and I'm sure as hell not going to start talking like one. I tell time like a civilian -- 2100? No, it's 9 pm, fool; I say my letters like a civilian -- it's A, B, C, not Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, fool; I say actual words like a civilian -- it's called Navy Family Assessment System, not NFAAS, fool.

I walk like a civilian. I talk like a civilian. I don't stop my car or freeze and salute when TAPS starts playing. I look at an Enlisted man just the same way that I look at a Captain. I don't care how long you've been in the military, or how many colorful pins you have on your ugly brown shirt. I'm a civilian...and none of that silly stuff matters in my world. If you disrespect me, you can bet I'll do it right back.

Does this mentality get me in trouble at work? You bet. I get phone calls from random military officials telling me gibberish phrases like "you jumped the chain of command" and "sorry I blew off our meeting, I had a SNAFU."

Whaaaa? It sounds like the grown-ups in Charlie Brown shows.

I'm a civilian.

Miracles

I stated in my post that it would be awhile. It has, but for different reasons.

Mr. Navy would have left on his deployment last Sunday morning. Yes, would have left.

I have never been a "tokin' Christian" or anything. Sure, I grew up Catholic and went to church, and I've always believed in a higher power. But growing up and being handed the life I was handed, I always found it really hard to scream God's name from the mountaintops. However, two weeks ago, I was given my very own miracle.

One week before he was scheduled to leave, Mr. Navy received a phone call from his deployment doctor, stating that she had found something on his ECG that disqualified him from going. Disqualified.

He told me the news -- and I literally felt the world stop -- until I heard him utter the phrase "I have to go see a Cardiologist". HUH?

Why does it always have to be one thing or another, I asked God. He won't be leaving me for war, but...what, he has a..heart problem?

Mr. Navy and I hugged...for awhile...and then began to research cardiologists and Google the different types of heart conditions that his doctor said it could be. Nothing looked too serious....at least he's not going to war... I thought.

Mr. Navy went on to get a second opinion -- and that ECG came out..gulp...normal.

Could it be, that I was just given a miracle? That in fact, it isn't one thing or another, but that he and I were blessed by God and given the ability to not be separated? And, could it be, that there is actually nothing wrong with his heart?

Stay tuned for the final results, but I can stand here and say proudly...that while I'm still not a "tokin' Christian", I am living proof of miracles. Just believe, even when it's the last thing you want to do.

Titleless...

Hello all,

I've been away for awhile. And I may be away for another long while.

This blog was intended to poke fun at my military life. To crack jokes about how the women on base can't drive, about how the mail is always screwed up, and how bad it smells when the wind blows just right. Basically, this blog was about me making the best of this situation.

I can no longer do so. It is at this moment, and the moments over the past two weeks, that the last thing I want to think about or even acknowledge out loud is that I am affiliated with the military.

They are taking Mr. Navy away from me. After a year and a half of his superiors telling me he'd never deploy -- "no, his job is here" they said. "He won't go anywhere" they said. Well, two weeks ago, we found out that it was all false.

They (I will use this word "they" many times from now on, to avoid using other words that may offend anyone) told him two weeks ago that they received a billet (an order) for an IA deployment to Iraq for one year. The IA deployment program is a volunteer based program -- it takes Navy personnel who want to go work with the Army and serve their country in combat zones in order to experience new things, make rank faster, and earn some extra pay. Mr. Navy's department had many volunteers--and for some reason or another, "they" determined that those volunteers were all ineligible, and that Mr. Navy is being forced to go. And will he be doing air traffic control? His love, his passion, and not to mention what he's been training for for the past year and a half and was hoping to do in the civilian world? Nope.

None of this makes sense to me. My brain just can't wrap around it. They say an IA is just a body. Someone sent to relieve an Army soldier to do mindless work. If all they need is a body, can't they send a body who wants to go? Who isn't getting married? Who doesn't have such a bright future ahead of them? And do "they" realize, that attached to that body is a brain, a heart, and a woman who loves him very much?

I have been told many things by many people who just don't know what to say. I urge people that if this is the case, don't say anything at all. Getting extra money in my paycheck or being able to park anywhere on base the entire YEAR they put Mr. Navy in a war away from me (not doing the job he's been trained to do) doesn't make any of this worth it to me.

So, for the next six weeks, I embrace my Mr. Navy with open arms and try not to imagine how difficult it will be to go that long without my other half. Without my sunshine, my ying, my best friend. What I do try to imagine is a life free of the military, and that makes for some sweet dreams.

So, Mr. Navy and I both will be on a journey for the next year -- however, they are journeys totally separate from each other. I ask for all your best wishes and your prayers.

And maybe I'll keep up with this blog -- and find something to poke fun at again.